Away she flew.

She strode

Past the onlookers

The staring eyes

The pointed fingers.

She strode

On the path less strewn

On the road less traversed

On the course which was harder.

She climbed the ledge

Shushed all the whispers

Spread her arms

And leapt.

Earlier, she strode.

Now, she flew.

Celebrating Womanhood? You decide.

"... Her heels clicking on the tarmac, the street lights lighting her path ahead, talking over the phone while walking down the deserted by-lane to reach the safe havens of her home, she wished her friend a "Happy Women's Day" and kept the line. Another 5 minutes and she would be home, she thought. She heard an oncoming bike and looked sideways to see if there was space to weave through the footpath occupiers. Finding none, she continued walking ahead, expecting the biker to be careful enough not to hurt her. But the bike came and stopped just near her, surprising her and causing her foot to twist while she fell on the footpath. She looked up angrily to see two pairs of eyes leering at her. The anger gave way to fear. The screeching bike had woken some of the beggars and within seconds, which felt like hours, one of those young lads came to help her get back on her feet. Several of them came and stood beside her. Her phone vibrated. An incoming message, announcing  'A 3-day special discount in celebration of Women's Day.' ..."

Yes, there's inequality. Yes, there's commercialization. Yes, there's tyranny. Yes, there's irony.

But, above all, there's hope.

Happy Women's Day.

#100happydays. (Day 45)

Day 29!

Believe in Him! Be happy! Lesson learnt!

Day 25!

This is so true! And I thank the world for making me realize this time and again, that I have a few really strong characters in my life!

Till death do us part...

Exactly a year ago, not everything ended well for Reeva Steenkamp, girlfriend of famous Paralympic Oscar Pistorius, the Posh and Becks of South Africa.

She was found dead in the arms of her love. Oscar looked shattered. Their place was a mess, his clothes blood-soaked, the bathroom door broken, her body riddled with bullets, cricket bats and guns lying around. The world was divided. Still is. Some say it was premeditated. Some say it was accidental.

Twist of fate.

I say it was sad. Sad for Reeva, Oscar, their families, friends. Sad for the ones who had to closely witness something so heart-wrenching on a day of love. Sad for the innumerable people who lost their inspiration in Oscar that day. Which man in his right frame of mind would premeditate the murder of his girlfriend in a manner he knew would point back right at him? And a man with Oscar's courage and mental strength, which got him game ready to compete against able-bodied athletes at the Olympics, definitely has the right frame of mind.

But I am not defending him. He has lost a lot. And so has Reeva.

He his love. She her life.

Maybe love for Oscar will never be the same again. This day definitely won't.

Maybe he will learn to live with what happened that day. With what he did. With the life he took away.

Maybe Reeva will forgive him for what happened. Maybe already has. Maybe he knows. Maybe he'll come to terms with it.

A lot of maybe's, a lot of hope, a lot of strength, a lot of empathy.

For the way things ended. For them. Between them.

Not everything ends well...

Picture Courtesy --- http://healingoutcomes.com

Day 10!

Left me smiling eye to eye!

Day 2!

And the journey towards May 2014 continues...

God's grace!

As I stand here stranded,
My stomach churning with pain,
Of sadness and disbelief,
I wait for the light,
To carve my path out of the tunnel.

I cannot speak to the souls around me,
They won't understand one bit,
They have their backs turned to me,
Leaving me all alone.

Man is a social being we say,
Yet here I am,
With so many around me,
No one to cup my tears.

My dwindling faith now lies,
In the hopes of your greatness,
Waiting for the unfathomable and immeasurable,
Strength of your mere presence.

As you throw your light,
The darkness around flutters away,
I notice that the backs to me,
Were to protect me from the horrors of the way.

As I wipe my tears,
I see the gnashes they've suffered,
And I realize I'll pray next time,
For what you think I need, rather than what I think I want.

Cherish life!

All her life, she waited for the one,
Not glancing even once, at the ones who paused for her,
Around her, there was so much of joy and cheer,
Yet, she didn't care enough for the ones near.

Soon the crowds passed by her,
Soon she was left standing alone,
With none to ask her how she was,
She began wondering who she was.

While she waited for her one big moment,
She never noticed those small, little ones,
That fill up the pages of life,
And make you want to revisit the memory lanes.

Wise enough to realize her folly,
She began the task of trudging uphill,
Warning every person who was going down,
To cherish what you get, rather than crying for what you want.

Most of us pray for a list of things we want, but how many of us thank Him for what we have? Consider yourself lucky that you're still able to smile because there are many who've even lost that.

Life isn't about the one big moment. It's about the small, little moments which turn into your life story!

If only I could fly away!

I sat by the window,

Looking out at the sky,

The forlorn bird flying across

The expanse of blue

Touching the chords of my heart.

The small, brown wonder circled around,

And perched atop the neighboring window.

As it shushed and looked around,

It seemed to mirror my state of mind.

How I longed to fly away,

To soar higher than ever

But day upon day,

The burden increased,

Bogging me down forever.

Another sparrow came and sat near,

The two chirping away,

I glanced at my empty beside,

While the pair made its' way.

Alas! For me there was no escape,

The chains never seemed to unbind,

And so I sat there looking at the blue expanse,

Forlorn, more than ever.

Trying to locate the silver lining,

More hopeful than ever.

P.S.:  You may not know it, but you make a big difference in my life, my thoughts, my being. Thank you so much! This is dedicated solely to you! Thank you, Aayush!

Life seems to be talking.

"Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."

And that is the best part about life! It throws curveballs and boomerangs at you! And you never know where your next step will lead you to, what the next day will bring for you, who the next person in your life will be...

Destiny, karma, tarot, fortune - these cannot decide what will happen. They cannot predict your future, no matter the tall claims they make.

It is all in your hands. The clay is ready to be moulded any way you want.

As I sit by my window, the sun playing peekaboo with the morning clouds, the spring breeze keeping the mood lazy, the sun rays reflecting on the glass paneled building in front of me, I feel good about my life.

My life is in my hands. And so is yours.

Wonder why?

I waited for days,
For you to come up.
But you never cared
Enough to realize.
I heard you,
when you wanted.
But you never cared
Enough to ask.
I was there
When you were at your worst.
But you couldn't care lesser
Even when I was at my best.
I wonder why
I even bothered.
Because the only good you ever did to me,
Was to go away with her.

Just when you lose hope...

It was a normal working day. Nothing special. Except that it was his birthday. His first birthday away from home. His first birthday when he couldn’t share the joy of spending one more year with his loved ones. Calls poured in all day long. Yet he felt all the more away, all the lonelier, and all the more alone. Time to go back home he thought as he started putting his papers back in place.

His cell beeped. His roommate would be back late. His meeting had been delayed which meant birthday celebrations at home stood canceled. Great!

“Hey Abhinav! All packed? Lets go. I’ll drop you home” Gaurav said.

Gaurav was more of a friend than colleague. “Sumedha’s waiting downstairs” he said referring to his wife.

On the way home they stopped at a newly opened restraint.

“Happy birthday!” Sumedha wished him from behind the wheel, while Gaurav handed Abhinav a gift.

“What’s this guys?”

“Just to make you feel all the more special”

“Come we’re having dinner together, the treat’s on us.”

From the next hour Abhinav felt like he was almost home.

Yet when they dropped him off, he couldn’t help feeling lonely again. To ward off going to an empty home, he decided to take a small walk.

He called up his mother.

“Hi mom, what are you doing?”

“Happy birthday! We were just done with dinner.”

“No cake for dinner this year?” he asked, forlorn.

“We’ll definitely have some when we meet! I’ll bake your favorite chocolate cake. Where are you by the way? You haven’t reached home yet? Still working?”

“No mom! I’m done with dinner. Went out with Gaurav & Sumedha. Just out for a walk right now. I’m missing…”

“Abhi, I’ll call you back, wait” and the line disconnected

“I love you mom. I miss you all a lot.” he said, staring at the phone.

With heavy legs and a heavier heart, he walked back to his place. Climbing up the stairs, he saw one of his fellow residents being greeted by his children, the warmth and love of a family pouring out of their place. Waving towards the father, he trudged along the stairs and put his key into the lock. Opening the door, he switched on the lights of his place and was greeted by shrieks of “Happy Birthday!”

Shocked, he banged the door shut! He couldn’t believe his eyes! His eyes welled up with tears as he stood looking at his family. His girlfriend stood nearby holding out the chocolate cake for him.

He had never been happier!

Longing Along…

Surrounded by people, yet feeling all alone

How lucky I’d have been to be getting all their love,

They cheer for him, they jeer at me,

All because he has the means, I have the needs.

Walking along the beach, the waves lapping at my feet,

The wind whipping through my hair, their jibes roaring through me.

Silence was what I sought; maybe I wasn’t destined for that too.

I was never given a chance, a chance he never even had to ask for.

I proved them wrong; I stood on my feet,

They pulled the carpet from beneath me,

They pulled me down again.

Today I stare out at the sea,

I see the waves coming towards me,

I let them take me down with them,

And there’s finally silence all around me.

Numb, and quiet, I remember God,

And I promise to Him I’ll come out strong.

Pulled down by expectations!

After continued attempts at penning my thoughts on paper, frustrated, irritated and filled with despair, I still don’t know where to start. And until I don’t pour the words out, this clenched feeling in my heart just won't go away.

Not a state you’d like to be in — where you have so much to say, yet you don’t know how to say it!

In plain and simple words, without bothering to embellish or adorn it –

I am disappointed. 

With myself. With others around me.

There, I said it!

Yes, disappointed.

Every time, the delicate lace of expectations that I weave, comes apart, I try and depict the pattern again!

Why?

Why, when people have disappointed me, do I trust them again?

Why do I seek them again when they were the ones who left me alone?

Why do they become a priority in my life, while I still remain an option?

Blame it on the unrestricted and boundless flow of emotions through us humans, I guess!

All seems to go well, and when you least expect it, all goes downhill!

Such is the way of life.

It surprises you when you expect it the least, but need it the most.

I am sorry to have bored you with this note of self pity and I want to thank you for having taken out the time to read this!

It truly means a lot to me!

Just one sincere and heartfelt advice –

Love yourself. More than anyone else in the world. Because you deserve it!

I do! Do you?

Dedicated to those who made me realize along the way that love doesn't always give back love! Thank you for teaching me one of the harsh realities of life...

I do! Do you?

I never meant to hurt you,

I never meant to slight you,

I wish you'd understood me,

I'd never have gone without you.

My love was all I had for you,

My concern was all I showered on you,

Yet you thought I pestered you,

I'd never have done that to you.

If I was tired, I was no fun,

If I was fun, I was trying too much,

You always had a complain about me,

I'd always tried not to do that to you.

I wish you'd loved me,

I wish you'd seen me,

I wish you'd cared for me,

Because that is all I ever did to you.

Forever and ever and ever...