Near... Yet so far.

You do not acknowledge it,

You may not recognize it,

We've been this way for really long,

Maybe us being happy together was too much of a misfit!

We're as close as blood relations can get,

At one time, for my actions, you would vet,

Bonds shattered, smiles dashed,

To leave us, you're all set.

I may not be able to say it aloud,

Yet my heart keeps beating out loud,

To wish you a really happy life ahead,

Wedding bells and chimes the only sound.

R.I.P. English

All through these years, I've never been in favour of belittling others or ridiculing others for their wobbly hold of the English language. Primary reason being, these people are aware of their weakness and are often trying to get past it.

However, in the past few days, I've come across mispronunciations and wrong usage of words, with such shameful confidence, I cannot help but put it down in the pages of social networking history!

I'll cite the best of the lot:

--- I heard a guy say on the microphone, while he was on stage, at the podium and in view of the entire audience, use the word important as an adjective for himself. Sadly, he silenced the letter 'R' in the word important. Rest, is up to you to understand!

--- While explaining duties to volunteers at some event, one of the persons handling the event, said “Be benevolent to the guests.” Sounds good, doesn’t it? Not when you hear him say the same thing more than four times! Just using BIG words does not make you good at the language. Sometimes, words like respectful, helpful, cooperative also help.

--- Then, he misses out the ‘damn’ from the phrase ‘any God-damn thing’. Although, I appreciate your willingness to not use the word ‘damn’ in front of women, the phrase ‘any God  thing’, sounds a little more than incomplete.

--- Saving the best for the last, where a guy used the word ‘eligible’ for (drum roll! Ta da ta da dum!) ‘liable’. So what he said was something like, “If anything goes wrong, remember you will be eligible for it!”

Need I say more, folks? Let’s keep silence for a minute, please. R.I.P English.

God's grace!

As I stand here stranded,
My stomach churning with pain,
Of sadness and disbelief,
I wait for the light,
To carve my path out of the tunnel.

I cannot speak to the souls around me,
They won't understand one bit,
They have their backs turned to me,
Leaving me all alone.

Man is a social being we say,
Yet here I am,
With so many around me,
No one to cup my tears.

My dwindling faith now lies,
In the hopes of your greatness,
Waiting for the unfathomable and immeasurable,
Strength of your mere presence.

As you throw your light,
The darkness around flutters away,
I notice that the backs to me,
Were to protect me from the horrors of the way.

As I wipe my tears,
I see the gnashes they've suffered,
And I realize I'll pray next time,
For what you think I need, rather than what I think I want.

#RahmanIshq! - The Rahman concert in Calcutta!

Yesterday evening, the God himself descended in Calcutta, armed with his instruments, the rains signaling his arrival and ceasing at his descent, darkness enveloping a crowd of thousands waiting for a mere glimpse, uproar at his first syllable, adrenalin rushing through the throbbing veins at the first hint of music. That was A.R. Rahman at Calcutta!

What happened on the stage in the next few hours was magic. Maybe see through at times, mesmerizing mostly. But what happened in the crowd around us was a different matter altogether. That too was just so out of the world!

Bang ahead of us was a couple who just couldn't get enough of each other. She seemed to be eating all the time, attracting the bees-like-hawkers (who were allowed to roam freely in the entire stadium, selling everything from 'cheeps', lemon 'peshaal' signaling special lemon tea, cool water and badaam and were guilty of the criminal offence of interjecting the maestro's music with their cries of product advertising!!). Her beau, oblivious to how much he was spending, couldn't seem to get himself to concentrate on the stage, is all I can say.

One row ahead of us to our left, sat a trio of the most boring young guys I have ever come across. They didn't clap for more than 3 seconds at a stretch, with gaps of at least half an hour between each such exercise. It almost felt like they had been punished  and were made to sit through the entire event. Even if Rahman himself had come to them, they wouldn't have uttered a cheer or enthusiastic hoot! I just hope they had free tickets to the show, because otherwise they've genuinely wasted their bucks!

And behind was a family with such levels of intelligence, I should have congratulated them. The boy was shouting to his dad for chewing gum in the middle of a sufi song when the whole crowd was swaying in the musical magic. Once, another one of them was completely unaware of the fact that it was their cell phone which was ringing loudly. And at one time when the sound fell really low due to some technical glitch for a few seconds, this man shouted from nearly the last row of the stadium "Raise the volume!". Seriously, Sir? You really think the organizers can hear you from this far? His voice decibels barely managed to reach the next 15 rows of people, I think!

When Rahman played out his crowd-favourite Jai Ho!, this man next to me, stood in the attention stance. I wish he knew Jai Ho is NOT our National Anthem. He could have crooned it aloud and fist pumped the air a little. But alas!

It felt as if the people around me were saving all their enthusiasm for the Goddess Durga! 'Cuz the other blocks in the stadium could definitely be heard on the stage!

That's the other side of RahmanIshq!

Reporting directly from the stands, signing off for the day!

I found my Twin Soul!

Me : Found this beautifully worded quote on the internet ---
“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.”
Mr. Sensible : That is so romantic!
Me (Thinking deeply, frowning) : I would say these are subtle words portraying underlying obsession.
Mr. Sensible : Obsession is not the correct word here.
Me : I wouldn't like to be that important or necessary in anyone's life. Of course it would be flattering to be that important.
But I would feel suffocated after some time and would want to move on.
Me (adding hastily) : I'm sorry to ruin the romance of the words!
Mr. Sensible (disappointed and angry) : Well, you actually did!
Unsure, I sent it to another friend who is in, or we could say, working on a relationship.
Me : Found this beautifully worded quote on the internet ---
“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.”
Twin Soul : Why would I like to be necessary and unnoticed for someone else?
And I'm jumping with joy! I found my twin soul!
PS : Mr. Sensible is so good looking and understanding and charming (& sensible, of course), he would easily find several women wanting to be the air for him!

The best you can have!

She knows how to make me smile!

Irritating me is almost like her part-time job!

He’s crazy about his chick(en)s!

She is like my twin sister!

We’re fondly called the monkeys of the house!

I can bare my soul to her!

He calls me paranoid!

He gets me thinking!

My day is incomplete without talking to her!

He inspires me!

He loves my smile! I love his too!

She never ceases to sing! (Not even during class!)

She loves to fight!

These are my friends! And I love them the way they are. This is the family I got a chance to pick and choose! 

Happy Friendship Day to all my dear, near, close, long-lost, old, new, fun, boring, crazy, lazy and wacky friends!

Kyun Ki… Har ek friend zaruri hota hai!

Love you all!

Shine in silence!

Things might not always seem bright,
You might feel the end of the tunnel has no light,
But do not lose your faith upon Her,
She considers you strong, Mon cher.

Life will always give you highs and lows,
Our attitude decides who's going to stay and who bows,
We have a long way to go,
And to the world we'll show,

No matter how much the world puts us out,
We will always get up and go about.

Cherish life!

All her life, she waited for the one,
Not glancing even once, at the ones who paused for her,
Around her, there was so much of joy and cheer,
Yet, she didn't care enough for the ones near.

Soon the crowds passed by her,
Soon she was left standing alone,
With none to ask her how she was,
She began wondering who she was.

While she waited for her one big moment,
She never noticed those small, little ones,
That fill up the pages of life,
And make you want to revisit the memory lanes.

Wise enough to realize her folly,
She began the task of trudging uphill,
Warning every person who was going down,
To cherish what you get, rather than crying for what you want.

Most of us pray for a list of things we want, but how many of us thank Him for what we have? Consider yourself lucky that you're still able to smile because there are many who've even lost that.

Life isn't about the one big moment. It's about the small, little moments which turn into your life story!

If only I could fly away!

I sat by the window,

Looking out at the sky,

The forlorn bird flying across

The expanse of blue

Touching the chords of my heart.

The small, brown wonder circled around,

And perched atop the neighboring window.

As it shushed and looked around,

It seemed to mirror my state of mind.

How I longed to fly away,

To soar higher than ever

But day upon day,

The burden increased,

Bogging me down forever.

Another sparrow came and sat near,

The two chirping away,

I glanced at my empty beside,

While the pair made its' way.

Alas! For me there was no escape,

The chains never seemed to unbind,

And so I sat there looking at the blue expanse,

Forlorn, more than ever.

Trying to locate the silver lining,

More hopeful than ever.

P.S.:  You may not know it, but you make a big difference in my life, my thoughts, my being. Thank you so much! This is dedicated solely to you! Thank you, Aayush!

Contrasting Worlds! (For better or for worse?)

Last morning in a deliberate (and desperate!) attempt to set ourselves free from the shackles of our hectic schedules, a few of us went out on an early Sunday morning drive to the not-so-well-frequented places of Calcutta.

Sincere advice --- Next time you're freewheeling around like me, just observe what's around you.

One of our stops was a road-side eatery in the city. (For Calcuttans, we were near the Calcutta Stock Exchange!). While we sat, waiting to greet steaming cups of tea and hot buttered toasts, under a gray clad morning sky, I looked around me. The waiters were rushing around with plates to be served, waiting on the incoming cars, greeting regular customers with smiles and 'How do you do?'s, the man at the stove cheerfully doling out order after order, other early risers sitting around in clumps sharing a laugh or two (rather loud ones at that!). It was a quiet, serene and fresh way to start a Sunday! The delicateness and intricacies of the surroundings made you forget all the worries and just wanted to make you sit there all day long, staring at happy faces. 

And then i happened to glance behind me. Just a meter away from where we were sitting, stood clusters of police patrol vans. Reason being that the local police headquarters and the State Government;s office was nearby. There were proper police sand bunkers laid out, with somber- faced, rifle-clad policemen in them. Noticing my gaze, my Dad simply pointed out, "They always have to be on the alert, lest an attack take place."

Enough to shatter my illusion of the peace and quiet.

Contrasting worlds, ain't it?!

P.S: To all the men on duty, I salute you for the dedication and devotion you display. At all times. We, civilians, tend to get away from work with small excuses like sickness, birthdays, anniversaries. But for you, life seems work and work seems life. Sans complaints! Immense respect for you!

To dream of love...

I got into my car. After a long day of work, all I wanted to do was sleep! I asked the driver to take me home.

I checked my cell for any messages or calls. Three calls from Mother! I called her and told her I'll be home in another 30 minutes. No messages from Nikhil. Wishful thinking.

I laid my head on the seat, stashed away the phone in my bag.

He held my hand in his. I looked to my right. Nikhil was sitting, reading something on his cell. I squeezed his hand lightly. Tearing his eyes from his cell, he looked at me and smiled. His eyes locked with mine.

Just the sight of him made my heart skip a beat! He didn't even know that my heart does that for him.

He set his cell aside.  I snuggled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulders. Being near him, somehow felt so reassuring. I just wanted to stay like that forever. The silence didn't hurt. The ache in my back did!

"Long day?" he asked.

"Hmmm. Very long. Very tiring!"

"Tell me about it."

"You don't wanna know."

"Of course I do."

"Then how come you never call. Or ask. Or spend some time alone. You know I'd like it."

"You never said so."

"Well, I just did! I like you, and I treat you special. I want to feel the same."

There was no reply.

I turned to look at him. Umm, there was no him!

I looked at my palm cupping the air, waiting for someone to slide a hand in.

Crap! I'd drifted off to sleep!

People say dreams come true! I wanted to make sure this one did.

I retrieved my cell from my handbag.

I dialed Nikhil.

"Hey!" said the voice at the other end.

"Hi!"

"Long day?" he asked.

My heart skipped a beat!

Exam? What the hell!

Hi!

I have an exam to write tomorrow!

And here I am writing to you guys!

And that's because I've done everything else I could to distract myself from pages and pages of the boring-ly theoretical audit paper I have tomorrow. My under-grad audit paper.

Sitting at home, with the Celsius chart soaring, I could feel the bout of laziness coming over me in the morning itself! After much deliberations with my boss, I'd managed to get an off today. And there I was studying for half an hour at a go and taking a one hour break thereafter!

I watched half of Gossip Girl, then returned to 'Is the auditor a watchdog or bloodhound?'. Later, I tuned into a sci-fi comedy Fantastic Four followed by how audit is different from investigation. So bored was I that I went on Facebook after really long and liked statuses and pics randomly, installed, tried, then uninstalled apps on my phone and even checked out my Pinterest profile! All the while studying in between, mind you!

I still have around 30 pages to read. I've just tried on a new shade of nail paint. Read two pages. Started writing this post on insistence of my friend Ritika, who by the way, is in a worse state than me! She has 50 pages left to read!

Now that I've updated you guys, I guess I'll have to start studying again.

But before that, sorry Boss but I really, really am studying! Just with a little too many breaks in between!

Cool or un- cool?!

Of late I've noticed a lot of things going around me - some appreciable; others rather disappointing!

The other day, I was travelling to an early morning tuition by bus, and to my surprise I saw the bus was being manned by a lady conductor! That was so damn cool, considering the fact that you see very few female passengers at that time of the day, and here was a lady managing a bus by herself. In view of the depressing state of affairs of west Bengal, when it comes to women, this was indeed a welcome sight.

Often in offices, you notice that a lot of the employees and in some cases (though not so rare), even employers are re-christened with names, names which may not be supposed to mean well. To a certain extent, the re-christening part is bearable, but at times when it gets too rough and rude, it becomes really, really, un-cool! It then looks like a clear cut expression of not wanting to work under or with someone, either out of ego or due to lack of compatibility and failure to adjust.

Singing for your girlfriend, and letting out a low whistle on seeing her --- romantically cheesy yet understandably cool.

Hooting at a girl on the road and passing comments or singing to her, either directly or indirectly --- so not cool!

An initiative named M.A.R.D - Men Against Rape and Discrimination by Bollywood actor Farhan Akhtar, is so cool and hopefully will go on to be successful.

Keeping the name of your movie - Mard ko dard nai hota, is ... Do i really need to say it out loud?!

Life seems to be talking.

"Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant."

And that is the best part about life! It throws curveballs and boomerangs at you! And you never know where your next step will lead you to, what the next day will bring for you, who the next person in your life will be...

Destiny, karma, tarot, fortune - these cannot decide what will happen. They cannot predict your future, no matter the tall claims they make.

It is all in your hands. The clay is ready to be moulded any way you want.

As I sit by my window, the sun playing peekaboo with the morning clouds, the spring breeze keeping the mood lazy, the sun rays reflecting on the glass paneled building in front of me, I feel good about my life.

My life is in my hands. And so is yours.

Is it me, or is the world losing it?

The world is indeed a strange place to live in...

We Indians believe in God, a lot, mostly out of fear. We believe in dedicating each day to a God. And we believe in celebrating every festival possible. All good till here? Well, mostly. Unless like me, you find this undaunted staunchness in religion weird. Now comes the stranger part.
To honour the Gods and Goddesses, we don't play hymns or bhajans at the make shift pandals in Calcutta. We play the most raunchy Bollywood songs available! From Sheila to Fevicol to Munni.. You just have to name it!

News came in today that there's been a meteorite shower in Russia. All these years whenever the papers carried news of prospective showers, they never were actually visible. And look today what hit the unprepared Russians! Way to go NASA and similar organizations!

Oh and the main traffic signals of Calcutta have songs of Rabindra Nath Tagore being played all day long. Like the honking wasn't enough! But that is the change our Honorable Chief Minister believes in bringing about. Are we obliged or what?!

Oh! The Gods have a new song to listen to... Hookah Bar is being played now!

Fiddling with the pen!

With the crazy schedules I seem to be having, and for sheer and shocking lack of any ideas to write on, I'm sharing a few of my doodles here. Here you go!

Wonder why?

I waited for days,
For you to come up.
But you never cared
Enough to realize.
I heard you,
when you wanted.
But you never cared
Enough to ask.
I was there
When you were at your worst.
But you couldn't care lesser
Even when I was at my best.
I wonder why
I even bothered.
Because the only good you ever did to me,
Was to go away with her.

The change I want to be.

It is that time of the year again! Time to make resolutions!
Another year has begun.

This year I am not keeping any resolutions. Not because I don't complete them (which most often I don't!), but because I promise to make every day a new day, because I promise to live in the present, because I will treat one day at a time, because I will be the change I want to see in others.

On the morning of the first day of the year, on the way to office all I could crib about was the fact that I had to work today also. When I finally emerged out of my self-obsession, I noticed a poor lady sitting in the same bus, with her three children. On the cold wintry morning, they barely had enough clothes to cover themselves. Their feet were bare. They looked fatigued. Yet they were smiling and talking to one another. I looked around me. There were others who would have to work much more than me. Not just today, everyday. The bus drivers, conductors, police personnel, domestic helps, the shopkeepers, their staff. And a lot of other people. I realized I am not the only person who works. There are several others in situations worse than me. I have several choices when it comes to my life. Several of them don't.

I felt, if nothing else, blessed.

And I decided that I will no longer complain. And this isn't a resolution. I don't want to forget this halfway into January 2013.

This is the change I want to be.

Happy New Year!